Center for Healthy Sex website:centerforhealthysex.com

Free teleclass for gay and bisexual men on healthy sexuality

Joe Kort, author of "10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Find Real Love" is offering a free teleclass for gay and bisexual men on healthy sexuality and will also address sexual addiction and compulsivity. 

Please join him on Tuesday, May 20, 2008 from 8:00 - 9:00 PM EST.

The topic will be on sex, love and intimacy which is the theme of his upcoming workshop “Reclaiming The Man in the Mirror” for gay and bisexual men on June 21-22, 2008.

For information on how to join the class or sign up for the workshop go to:

http://www.joekort.com/gaybiteleclass.htm

Circumscision and sexual compulsivity: Are they related?

At the Center for Healthy Sex, women often ask if male circumcision can lead to sexual compulsivity.  The thinking is that an uncircumcised penis is more sensitive while the circumcised one is less sensitive, therefore needing more stimulation in order to experience pleasure.  As far as I know, there is no scientific data to bare this out and therefore, this is only speculation. 

Many factors can contribute to sexually compulsive behaviors.  If a person is masturbating compulsively, it may be that he/she has an obsessive compulsive disorder that manifested in this way due to some form of early childhood experience that was traumatizing. 

Each person who suffers from sexually compulsivity has a unique story, which is often based in pain as a result of suffering emotional, physical or sexual abuse in their childhood.

For more information and resources, visit our website at http://www.centerforhealthysex.com

Assessment, Diagnosis and Treatment of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity

On Friday, May 16 2008 from 9:00 am - 4:00 pm I will be teaching a continuing education course for mental health professionals on the above topic at the Skirball Center in Los Angeles, California.

To sign up and for more information and details about this workshop, please visit my website at www.centerforhealthysex.com.  Click on the "Events" tab.

Partners of sex addicts

Partners of sex addicts almost always report feeling isolated and alone when they find out their partners have a serious sexual problem.  They feel shame, hurt, angry and betrayed, often with nowhere to turn.

COSA is a fellowship of recovering men and women who are partnered with sex addicts.  They extend and share their experience, strength and hope with anyone who needs help.

If you are seeking support for this problem, contact COSA by going to the following website:

http://www.cosa-recovery.org

Good sex lasts minutes, not hours!

How long do you think sex should last?

In a USA Today article, "A survey of sex therapists concluded the optimal amount of time for sexual intercourse was 3 to 13 minutes. The findings, to be published in the May issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, strike at the notion that endurance is the key to a great sex life."

We are bombarded by stereotypes of what film makers and magazine editors think sex should look like.  On the other side of that is porn and all it's ideas about sex.  All of these forces can be shaming and diminishing and leave people unable to trust what is true for them.

If you worry about what "normal" is when it comes to your sex life, you might want to know that, according to Marianne Brandon, a clinical psychologist and director of Wellminds Wellbodies in Annapolis, Md., "most people's sex lives are not as exciting as other people think they are."

For the Science Daily article, click here:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/03/080331145115.htm

To read the USA Today article, click below:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-04-02-sex-survey_N.htm?csp=34

Sexual Information for Women

The female life cycle shifts and changes with each passing year and no two women are the same.  There are so many choices, opinions, books, television programs, radio shows, etc. where we can get information today that it can seem overwhelming.

Each one of us needs to listen to our own bodies and pay close attention to what the health patterns were for our grandmothers and mothers.  Never forget that your intuition is your best compass when it comes to making decisions about life cycle changes. 

It's also important to find a health care practitioner whose value system lines up with yours so you feel like someone is on your team versus setting yourself up in a "blind obediance" situation.  Find a medical doctor who is open to alternative practices and consult with both.  This way you can make an informed decision based upon what your needs are.

Estronaut is a comprehensive site for women with clear information addressing women's issues.  http://www.estronaut.com/n/what.htm

Please click on the comment below and let us know if you found this site useful.

Is cybersex addiction different from sex addiction?

Although this article was published in 2005, it is a strong review by Christian Perring, Ph.D., of Dr. Al Cooper's Book, "Cybersex: The dark side of the Force."

In this review, she lets the reader know exactly what the book has to offer and the intricicies of the research that make up the content of the book. 

To read the review, go to the link below.

http://www.adultandchild.cor/poc/view_doc.pho?id=2493&thpe=book&cn=66

Christian's struggling with sex addiciton

With Eliot Spitzer having to step down from his position as Governor of New York in such a publically humiliating fashion, I think sex addiction has finally come out of the closet. 

In this article from Christianity Today, you will see that the Christian community is availing itself more and more to the facts that this problem can strike anyone.  This problem, like all addictions, does not discriminate when it comes to status, race, or religion.

Here's a quote from the article:

"A widely recognized authority, Patrick Carnes, author and executive director of the Gentle Path program at Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services in Mississippi, estimates that 8 percent of adult men and 3 percent of adult women become sexually addicted at some point in their lives (this article will focus on the greater problem, male sexual addiction). That means roughly 12 million or more Americans may have this disorder. "

To read the entire article, go to http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2008/march/19.28.htm

Travel tip for recovering sex addicts

Often sex addicts in recovery most struggle with their sexual sobriety when they are away from home on business trips, staying in hotel rooms.  Leaving ones routine, home meetings, and general lack of accountability can have the addictive behaviors blind-siding a person when they least expect it. 

Pay-per view in hotel rooms can be one of the biggest temptations and a battle not everyone wins, especially in early recovery. 

CleanHotels.com is a network of lodging facilities that - based on some of the best research available - do not offer in-room, "adult" (pornographic) pay-per-view movies.

If you are an addict in recovery, travelling alone, you might want to take an extra step to protect yourself from slipping, check out this website:

www.cleanhotels.com

Sexual dysfunction in men

Too many men assume they are in serious trouble when they loose their erections during sex play or intercourse or when they ejaculate too rapidly.  This is a very common problem and nothing to be alarmed or ashamed about.

The first reaction is to assume medicine is the answer because we are trained to look for quick fixes in our culture.  If this is a problem for you, and assuming there is no medical condition causing the problem, consider that your problems are most likely anxiety driven.

That's right, anxiety!  When you are not present during sex you're body will let you know.  Worrying that you won't be able to keep your erection, thinking about other things, not connecting with your partner, and/or being absent from the sensations in your body can all lead to erectile dysfunction.

If you would like to read more about this problem, take a look at "Resurrecting Sex" by David Schnarch, Ph.d.  http://www.amazon.com/Resurrecting-Sex_problems_revolutionizing-Relationship/dp/0060931787/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=URF8&S=books&qid=1203789368&sr=1-1

You can also check out this website http://members.aol.com/how2video/welcome.htm or find a sex therapist www.aasect.org who can help you.